For purposes of this article, crisis moments refer to those points in time when players and/or team officials lose physical and rational control of their behavior. Almost always, there are warning signs a person's behavior is moving toward a crisis. The following tips can aid in early interventions and increase the likelihood of referees de-escalating an incident before it becomes dangerous.
Respect Each Individuals' Personal Space
Personal space is the area around us that we consider an extension of ourselves. How much space each of us requires to feel comfortable varies considerably. What is almost universally true, however, is that anxiety rises when personal space is invaded. This heightened anxiety makes it more likely a person will act out in a more serious way.
To avoid such a response, maintain at least two (2) yards from a player or team official whose behavior is escalating. In this way, you will be less likely to increase the person's anxiety. You will also reduce danger to yourself by maintaining a margin of safety that allows you time to react.
If you must show player/s a card for misconduct or you must dismiss a team official for irresponsible behavior, wait and see! If the player/coach objects to the card, decide:
1) if showing the card can wait until the player is less anxious; or
2) if another crew member, (AR or 4th official) might be better suited to communicate what's about to happen, i.e. someone who has established stronger rapport with the player or coach; or
3) if the CARD MUST be SHOWN immediately, at this very moment. This third alternative should be done quickly. Be prepared for the possibility of the player/s reacting negatively.
Be Aware of Your Own Body Position
In addition to maintaining adequate space between you and an anxious player or team official, avoid eye-to-eye, toe-to-toe positions, as they might be interpreted as challenging. Positions perceived as challenging can evoke a "fight or flight" response from the other person, and neither of those reactions is likely to be helpful. Standing at an angle to the person and off to the side is much less likely to escalate an agitated person's behavior.
Be Empathic to Others' Feelings
Soccer is a passionate game. Try not to judge or discount the feelings of others. Whether or not you think their feelings are justified, those feelings are real to the other person. Pay attention to them, and don't be afraid to show how passionate you are about the game. Show the game participants you CARE about them and the GAME, always be FAIR but FIRM. Your presence is often more important than what could be conveyed with any words you might say.
Keep Nonverbal Cues Nonthreatening
As a person begins to lose control of rational thought, the person becomes more tuned into your body language and less tuned into your words. Nonverbal communication — including gestures, facial expressions, movements and tone of voice — becomes paramount in conveying a calm, respectful attitude.
Ignore Challenging Questions
When a player or team official challenges your authority, the Laws of the Game or league rules, redirect the individual's attention to the issue at hand. For example, suppose a team official keeps coming onto the field of play to coach his players. You remind him that only players are allowed in the field of play and ask him to go back to the team area. He responds by saying, "Focus on making the right calls and not on me stepping in and out of the field" Answering this type of question only leads to a nonproductive power struggle, and it also sidesteps the issue at hand — the team official entering the field of play without the referee's permission! It's better to ignore the challenge and restate your request.
Set and Enforce Reasonable Limits
If players, team officials or substitute players become belligerent, defensive, or disruptive, establish limits and directives clearly and concisely. When setting limits, offer simple, clear choices and consequences to the acting-out individual/s'. Be sure the consequences are reasonable and enforceable.
For example, as AR you might tell a team official who is insistent about entering the field of play to talk to the referee, "Please come back to the team area WITH ME, and I'll be sure the referee speaks with you about your concerns as soon as possible. If you try to enter the field of play again, I'll have to call him over, and then it will be even harder to get your point across..."
Permit Verbal Venting When Possible
It is often the safest and best alternative to let the person shout. Allow the person to release as much energy as possible by venting verbally. As a person is venting, there will be peaks and valleys in the outburst, as the person's energy expenditure rises and falls. If you cannot allow the person to continue venting, state the directives and reasonable limits during the valleys in the venting process.
Identify Real Reason for the Behavior
Even in the midst of an angry tirade, there is useful information to be gained about what a player or team official is thinking and feeling. The real reason for a person's outburst is often not what it seems to be. Anxious players and team officials can be highly critical of referees for reasons that are much more related to misinterpreting the Laws of the Game or league rules than to the ways the "referee crew is calling the game." Try to listen for the real message — the feelings behind the facts. Restate the message you think you have received in order to determine if you correctly understood the player's or team official's intent.
Stay Composed, Avoid Overreacting
It's hard not to take things personally, especially since angry people often say very personal things. But it is essential to do your best to remain calm and professional — at least on the outside. Your composed, rational response can go a long way toward influencing the person's behavior in a positive way.
Prevention Promotes a Safe Playing Environment
Not every situation can be successfully de-escalated, but Referees who know and apply these key principles are much more likely to influence behavior in a positive way by defusing potential confrontational situations before they become dangerous. Prevention is the best way to promote a safe and respectful environment for players to enjoy the game.
It is the duty of the referee, while protecting the INTEGRITY of the game, to provide and promote a SAFE environment for PLAYERS to play the game.
Published by Richard Rodriguez 6/08
Republished by Richard Rodriguez 9/14
