Emotional Intelligence and the Referee

What exactly is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

The more universally known term is IQ (intelligence quotient). 

- Goleman (1995) popularized the term “emotional intelligence” in his well-known book Emotional Intelligence. Why it can matter more than IQ.

- Goleman defined four domains of emotional intelligence as: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Concepts:

• According to Goleman (1995) – EQ is first apparent in children when a child notices and tries to comfort a crying child 
• Unlike IQ which is inherited, EQ can be learned 
• Improving your EQ starts with the awareness of your EQ 

Referees and Leadership

Referees are visibly in a position of leadership

Bass (1990) identified two types of leadership – transactional and transformational

- The transactional leader makes a transaction “if you do as I say I will…”)

- The transformational leader builds a relationship with followers and creates their desire to do well

Why are you a referee?

There are many reasons why people choose to become a referee

• Love for the game
• Need for income
• Enjoy being a leader  - Either they are a natural leader or they need delegated authority to be a leader
• Desire to have the authority to make decisions
• Limited playing ability but want to participate

Good or bad reasons?

The prior list is limited and does not cover all the reasons

However…

There are good reasons

- The desire to give back to the game

and bad…

- A need for money means the referee might not have the interests of the players at heart, and just want time to pass

- A poor self image and the need for authority means the referee might not have the players interests at heart

The Goal

The goal is for all referees to have high emotional intelligence and the ability to:

• ensure the players decide the outcome of the game
• stay calm under pressure
• control what they say
• understand the pent-up emotions of the players and not over-react
• learn from mistakes and constantly improve
• learn from others

Achieving goals

If someone does not achieve a goal, there are only three reasons:

• They are unable
• They are unwilling
• They are inadequately trained

Attending training sessions is an essential part of any referees education

How people learn

People learn in four major ways:

• From their own experience
• From watching others, attending courses
• From reading all available literature
• From a combination of the above 

How do you learn?

If you want to raise your emotional intelligence – there are only two requirements:

- The desire to improve your EQ

- The understanding of how you learn

• If you learn by your own experience: Unless you are very young - you don’t have enough years to be all that you could be

• If you learn by watching others / attending courses: Find yourself a mentor, watch their games and ask them to watch yours. Don’t be defensive, receive criticism professionally “Thank you, is there anything else?”

• If you learn by studying: Material is available both locally and on the Internet, set aside time every week to research and make it a habit

• If you learn by a combination of the above: You are well positioned to succeed!

Rate your leadership!

- If you walk in a room, does anyone notice?

- Are you transactional and do you spend your game issuing cards and exerting your authority?

- Do you build a relationship with the coaches and the team captains?

Rate your emotional intelligence!

- If you are reading this and wondering if you have low emotional intelligence – chances are you do not, as you are willing to self-reflect

- If you are reading this and thinking of someone else, chances are that you have low emotional intelligence and need to become more self aware

Rate your emotional intelligence!

• Are you aware of yourself and how your actions affect others?
• Do you have an interest in the 22 players on the field and an awareness that for some this could be the highlight of their week due to a poor academic record or poor home circumstances?
• Do you leave a game and review how well you did, what mistakes you made and work out how to do better?
• Do you ignore any feedback from the parents and write them off as “the experts” who have little to contribute to how you referee the game?
• Rate your emotional intelligence!
• When you leave the field is the score 
• Home = 1, Visitors = 1, Referee = 1 because you awarded a penalty in retaliation toward a coach / player / spectator?
• Do you argue with players and insist on having the last word as anything less would somehow diminish your authority?
• Do you evict the coach to try to retain some semblance of control over the game?
• Do you suffer from “Napoleon Syndrome” where you perceive that somehow height affects your effectiveness?

OR

• Do you put your whistle in your mouth to stop yourself saying anything that could come back and haunt you
• Remain calm, apologize if you made a mistake, correct it if possible
• Read the coaches / players / spectators and adjust your game to meet their expectations

Looking Ahead

You CAN make a difference if you retain the desire to improve and encourage others

Together WE CAN make a difference and ensure that players decide the outcome of games, without any follow up actions being required

For the good of the game…

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” 

-- Edmund Burke 1729-1797

References

Bass, B. M. (1990). Handbook of leadership: Theory, research, & managerial applications (3rd ed.). New York: The Free Press.

Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence. Why it can matter more than IQ. New York: Bantam Books.